Today is Mother’s Day, so first of all Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mother’s out there!! In Australia on Mother’s Day the Mothers Day Classic MDC) is held, the MDC is a fun run to raise money for Breast Cancer and today for the first time ever I ran the MDC. I ran 7.5kms in 56 minutes. Now admittedly I didn’t run the whole way but considering I only started running 2 months ago I am very proud of myself, I never thought I would be running in a fun run, let alone 7.5kms. My body is making me pay for it now, it aches in all kinds of places.

I can remember when my friend Cass first started training a few months ago and we could barely run for a minute straight, we were so unfit that we were weasing and panting and couldn’t believe how long a minute was. Now we are running 15 minutes straight comfortably and getting stringer everyday!! It really is true what they say, the more you train the better it gets. That being said it never gets easy you just get better.

My biggest problem when it comes to running is my mental toughness. I find it really difficult to push through the pain, but I am working on it and everytime I run I get stronger. I must say that it comes in handy having a great running partner who pushes you and doesn’t let your excuses get in the way!!

So what’s next……………..I plan to keep running and to get getting stronger and fitter. Next for me is to run the 12km Adelaide City to Bay in September, so hopefully I will be stronger and fitter and will last longer!! All I can say is never give up!! Every Step is One Step Closer To The Finish Line!!

Its a funny thing this growing up thing. When I was a kid all I wanted to do was be a grown up. It seemed like it was so much fun, you could go to bed when you wanted do what you want, when you want, eat what you want, when you want, go where you want, when you want. Now that I’m here though its not quite what I expected. I mean I feel like even though technically I’m a grown up with all the responsibilies I feel like I’m still growing up, learning, making mistakes and carving my path in this world.

That being said I came across a letter Darren Hayes (From Savage Garden) has written to his year old self (which I have put below) and it got me thinking………………I wish my future self could contact me somehow and tell me its all going to be ok, that everything I’m doing leads me to the place I need to be. I think we all crave that reassurance that eveything happens for a reason and that one day we end up happy. I suppose until my future self invents a time machine I’ll be on my own, making mistakes and hoping that it all turns out ok in the end.

Dear Darren

I know this is going to sound insane, crazy even – but I’m writing this to you from the future. 25 years in the future actually. Where I come from it’s the day before our 40th birthday.

If my calculations are correct (and let’s face it we’ve never been any good at maths and this never changes) you are reading this the day before your 15th birthday on May 7 1987. There are 25 years separating us and I am dying to let you know what will happen to you in the time between then (now) and now (then).

Of course, I can’t tell you what really happens. Not specifically. We’ve both seen Back to the Future and we both know if you have too much knowledge of your future you risk ruining it. I can tell you this much; if you doubt the existence of your future self there will be a sequel to Back To the Future released in a couple years time that is only half as good as the original and a few years after that, Part 3 which really solidifies the notion that, apart from the Star Wars movies (the first three – oh don’t even ask!) most sequels pale in comparison to the originals. But if that’s not proof enough that I am the real deal perhaps this much will be: I know you are in a lot of pain. You hide it from your friends and from your family, but I know you’re having a rough time.

I know for example that the first two years of high school were hell for you. In May 1987 the bullying should be just about winding down by now. If it makes you feel any better, that group of boys who called you ‘faggot’ and ‘gay boy’ – the ones who beat you up and harassed you so much you sometimes wanted to die? Well they end up getting the futures they deserve. Right about now I imagine you are just starting to realise there is something special about you Darren Hayes. What I want you to know is, the thing that made you a target is the thing that makes you beautiful. There will be times in your life where you will try to dull down your magic because it draws too much attention. But please don’t do that. Please remember to shine because one day people are going to pay a lot of money to see you light up.

Right – so what can I impart upon you that might help you in the journey from here to there? And what can I tell you about ‘there’? Let me start with some helpful tips.

You’re too young to have regrets and your future self doesn’t believe in them anyway so please go forward knowing that you will never be given anything in your life you can’t handle. There will be obstacles and terrible moments more terrible than your childhood. But you will overcome them. So don’t waste any more energy worrying about the bad things to come. They come. You win.

Don’t get too hung up on whether you like boys or girls. I know right now you’re confused because you have a crush on a boy in your Maths 1 class and you had a crush on a girl in your French class. I know it is probably confronting but right now not a lot of people can admit to feeling like you do. Even you can’t admit it to yourself but you can admit it to me. You have a pure heart and you love without judgement or classification. But the world is a rigid place for a while and you’re going to waste many years feeling guilty about your emotions. Please don’t. Trust me when I say one day you will work out the answer to your questions and you will know exactly who you are and which sex you’re attracted to. You’re still working it out and that’s ok!

Stop thinking you have AIDS. You haven’t even kissed a boy. Go ask your doctor to explain to you how you get it but I can tell you right now you can’t catch it from watching Bruce Willis movies.

Don’t worry about the future. I know that seems crazy since I’m taking the time to contact you from that very place – but trust me. Right now you’re conflicted because you love to sing and you love to dance but everyone around you keeps telling you that you’ll never make it. You dream of becoming a big star but you think the odds are so stacked against you its impossible so you’re squashing it all down. My advice to you? Take that position in the girl’s choir. Your voice will stand out and Mrs. Landsdowne is going to realise you have a gift for singing. The rest will take care of itself but go to that choir audition. It will change your life.

Listen to your instincts. The only times you have ever messed up in your life are the times you’ve ignored your gut. Imagine you’re Luke Skywalker. Being true to yourself is really no different to using the force. Just quiet your mind and you’ll always know the right thing to do.

Please remember not to take any of it personally. You’re going to get a lot of insults and a lot of compliments in your life and I urge you to be suspicious of both.

Remember that money changes everything. It’s not just a Cyndi Lauper song. Some people will do anything for money. I know that’s hard for you to understand because right now you have none. You’ve never been motivated by money and you never will be. But some people will change when they are around it and your kind heart might not see this until it’s too late. So please remember that the people who love you, won’t expect you to pay for your own birthday dinner. This will make sense in the 90′s trust me.

Now I can give you a little glimpse of the future I’m writing to you from.
Well this will trip you out but in the future you live in London.
Yes I know this is insane. You’re thinking ‘But I’m obsessed with America!’. Don’t worry this never changes and you will live there for 7 of the best years of your life. But like all the great journeys you will undertake, it is love that brings you here. And it’s so worth it.

Today, in the future, you get a train to Paris to spend it with the love of your life who also happens to be the person you are married to. It is a hell of a journey (not the train, the road to finding your true love) but trust me when I say it will be worth it. You’ve got a keeper. More than a keeper. You end up with someone who makes you laugh every single day of your life. Someone who loves every part of you, even the bits you hate. Someone smart and funny and loving and your equal in more ways than you can possibly imagine. So don’t worry about love. I took care of it!

Ok I’ve tried not to spoil too many secrets – but something pretty amazing is about to happen. You’re about to go to a Michael Jackson concert. November 25th 1987 am I right? Well just to prove to you I know what I’m talking about – the show is supposed to be in a football stadium but soon due to a ridiculous rumour about him performing behind a bubble, ticket sales are going to be so bad that several concerts in Australia will be cancelled and yours will be moved to two nights at the Brisbane Entertainment Centre. Through a twist of fate, your cheap field ticket will be randomly exchanged for a seat 4 rows from the stage and you’ll witness a performance so spectacular it will inspire you to do what you do for a living in the future. Hint: it’s not teaching.

Anyhoo (this phrase will also make sense soon) – more than anything please just enjoy yourself. It’s a hell of a ride. You’re not always going to know what you want to be when you grow up. As I write this I’ve already achieved many of the dreams we set out to achieve and I still don’t know if I’m where I wanted us to be. In Paris I’m going to sit back and have a really good think about what we might want to do for the next 25 years. And isn’t that something to look forward to!

Finally – write me a letter sometime.
There are days when even your future self could do with some of that boundless optimism. Never give up!
I love you, Darren Stanley Hayes!

So as you all know, I have gone back to Uni this year because I have decided that I want to be a teacher. I wouls love to teach English but I’m not eligable at the stage so before I can start studying teaching though I need to do a few English Literature courses. One of the courses I am doing is all about the Medieval, it’s really facinating and in our lecture today they spoke of “The Art of Courtly Love” by Andreas Capellanus which was written in the 16th century, when romatic love was coming into fashion. Part of “The Art of Courtly Love” was a set of rules. I found these fascinating, especially since so many of them can be applied to modern times. So I thought I would share them with you.

The Rules of Love:
I. Marriage is no real excuse for not loving.
II. He who is not jealous cannot love.
III. No one can be bound by a double love.
IV. It is well known that love is always increasing or decreasing.
V. That which a lover takes against the will of his beloved has no relish.
VI. Boys do not love until they arrive at the age of maturity.
VII. When one lover dies, a widowhood of two years is required of the survivor.
VIII. No one should be deprived of love without the very best of reasons.
IX. No one can love unless he is impelled by the persuasion of love.
X. Love is always a stranger in the home of avarice.
XI. It is not proper to love any woman whom one would be ashamed to seek to marry.
XII. A true lover does not desire to embrace in love anyone except his beloved.
XIII. When made public love rarely endures.
XIV. The easy attainment of love makes it of little value;‑ “‘Iii faculty of attainment makes
it prized.
XV. Every lover regularly turns pale in the presence of his beloved.
XVI. When a lover suddenly catches sight of his beloved his heart palpitates.
XVII. A new love puts to flight an old one.
XVIII. Good character alone makes any man worthy of love.
XIX. If love diminishes, it rarely revives.
XX. A man in love is always apprehensive
XXI. Real jealousy always increases the feeling of love.
XXII. Jealousy, and therefore love, are increased when one suspects his beloved.
XXIII. He whom the thought of love vexes eats and sleeps very little.
XXIV. Every act of a lover ends in the thought of his beloved.
XXV. A true lover considers nothing good except what he thinks will please his beloved.
XXVI. Love can deny nothing to love.
XXVII. A lover can never have enough of the solaces of his beloved.
XXVIII. A slight presumption causes a lover to suspect his beloved.
XXIX. A man who is vexed by too much passion usually does not love.
XXX. A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thought of his
beloved.
XXXI. Nothing forbids one woman being loved by two men or one man by two women.

To often in this life we are guilty of complaining that we don’t have what we want or that things didn’t go our way. We complain that we don’t have enough money or enough holidays or that life just isn’t fair. Rather than do that we should celebrate all the blessings that we have and be greatful to be healthy, happy and alive.

Dear Universe

Thankyou!

Thankyou for letting me be born a woman country where women are appreciated, in a age where woman are seen as equal. Where a woman is free to speak her mind and voice her opinion. Where women can actively participate in politics, literature, engineering, art and anything else they choose. Where women can be the president, prime minster, the queen or a CEO.

Dear Universe

Thankyou!

Thankyou for being born in a country free from war, famine and disease. Where freedom of speech is a right afforded to all. Where there is freedom of religion, freedom of thought and freedom of belief. Where you are not persecuted for the colour of your skin or the people that you sleep with, what gender you were born, what god you believe in, your mental health or physical ability. Where I have access to clean water, fresh food, medical attention and education.

Dear Universe

Thankyou!

Thankyou for beling born into a family full of love and support. Although things haven’t always been smooth sailing I have been blessed with the best mother a person could ask for, she has supported me through every endevour that I have pursued. My extended family is full of interesting characters and all the love and support anyone could ask for.

Dear Universe

Thankyou!

Thankyou for my friends who are more like my family. Who make me laugh and smile. Who are there in the good times and the bad. Who make life worth living. Who are in all the best memories.

Dear Universe

Thankyou!

Thankyou for my job, it provides me with a income to pay my bills and allows me to afford all the luxuries in my life.It also allows for me to make monetry contributions to charities to help thoes less fortunate.